Today was the first time in all of my thirty years that I have been alone on Christmas morning. Completely alone. Surrounded by silence… with time to sleep in and think.
My Daughter is with her Daddy till noon, then we head to the white sandy beaches of Pensacola Beach Florida for vacation with my family. (So don’t feel TOO sorry for me!) By this evening, I will be surrounded by extended family, tons of food and drink and more presents than I really need.
Being alone has given me some time to really think about what the Holidays mean to me. Of course its the birth of Jesus, we all know that. But Christmas has become such a stressful time for me that I tend to forget the true meaning. I have been so caught up in work and social events. I feel constantly busy or exhausted or a combination of BOTH! When I do have a free minute to put my feet up, my brain is still going a thousand miles an hour… “I need a present for so-and-so. Need to wrap those other presents. Did I get enough gift bags? Am I forgetting anything…” Even in the silence, inside my head is as loud as a High School marching band practice. I miss my childhood Christmas memories. Being EXCITED about Christmas! Counting down the days starting December 1st. Shaking each wrapped present and trying to guess what it was. Sleeping next to the glowing tree on Christmas Eve. Being told by my parents at 4:30am that it was still “TOO EARLY” to open presents. Sigh. I miss those days.
As adults, we tend to lose the excitement and wonder of the holidays. Today, as I drive the 4.5 hours to my family’s house, I will try to re-capture that feeling I had as a child. We must never forget to stop and view the world through a child’s eyes now and then…